The X Factor

Literally cannot imagine anything worse than going to one of these "X Factor parties" people seems to be jizzing over now a days. 

"Hey Jord, wanna come over and watch the X Factor final with 12 other people you don't know? We'll get Doritos!"

"Hmmm.... Let me think about that Dave..... No. No I wouldn't like to come round to your house where 80% of the people have to sit on bean bags or the floor and get half drunk while watching a bunch of half wit pricks beg for a chance at being Simon Cowell's fuck buddy for 8 months. You need to get some friends, and a life if that's how you want to spend a Saturday night."

That's all they are, half witted pricks. 

Don't give us all this shit about wanting to be a "rockstar" or whatever. You just want to be famous. 90% of people that go on that show don't give a shit about making music, and that's why they release one début album and disappear off the face of the Earth. They want to be Kim Kardashian, not Freddie Mercury.

It's the same every year, with the same sob story excuses, and the same shitty songs, and the same shitty judges, and the same shitty costumes, and the same shitty shows blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahhhhhhh...............

It's everything that's wrong with music. It's not an art any more, it's a business, and as soon as some conglomerate blowing, money raping, shameless dick head like Simon Cowell get's hold of something like this it's over. Music is dead, and Jimmy Hendrix is turning in his grave. 

The King is dead, long live the prick. 

The England Football Team

Now I am a big football fan. I am a proud supporter of Liverpool Football club, and have been for many years. See I've timed this really well, because there will be no ridicule over my choice of team as, as it happens, they are on the best run of form I've seen for 3 years. Who the fuck are Man United? #YNWA.

But I'm not complaining about the bias towards Man U in the Barclays Premier League. Although it definitely does exist, and I find it hilarious that this year it isn't paying of for the scum bag, sub par, joke of a club. I'm complaining about another inexplicable hilarity in modern day professional football: The England National Team.  

The fact that England is home to the greatest and biggest league on the planet, and boasts the most formidable talent pool to date, but yet still doesn't manage to have any kind of significant in international competitions is something that I think baffles most football fans. There is nothing wrong with the team (Minus the obvious fact that they are 11 overpaid, animalistic, spoiled little brats wearing boots that are worth more than most of our televisions). They're good footballers, individually. But it seems as soon as they put on the Three Lions shirt, they might as well have fielded 11 blind dwarfs. 

I've already had a go at Rugby. I don't get it. But at least the rugby players are really giving it all on that pitch. They're literally fighting to win the game, where as most footballers are just dancing around hoping the ball goes in the net. And in the case of our dear national team, standing still and hoping all the media hype somehow gives them special powers of telekinesis so then they can score goals with their minds. 

Actually, no. I don't think most of them even give a shit. I don't think they care if they win or lose. Or at least, that's how it looks when I watch them. There's no desperate diving headers. There's no last ditch tackles. There's no emotional overflow and fighting. There's nothing. Conveniently, they';re playing tonight. In a massive game against Montenegro. I think we're predicting a win. The day England are literally shitting themselves about playing Montenegro is the day we might as well change their nicknames from the Three Lions to the Three Wimpy Sheep. But don't have high hopes. England have a certain talent for pushing the boundaries of letting their country down.