Game Shows

Saturday 16^th March 2013

Game Shows

I don’t care if you’re picking a box, being chased by a fat man or throwing a ball in a massive cube. Game shows fucking wind me up and I cannot be the only one. Tell me you don’t cringe every time you hear Noel say: “Welcome to deal or no deal.”

            My initial grievance with these pathetic excuses for entertainment, is the people that are attracted to go on these shows. The attention seeking, money grabbing, over emotional plebs that’ll do anything to get on television seriously have a screw loose. How little self-respect must these people have left to pander and go along with these game shows stories? “The banker wants to talk to you…” “OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH.” NO!!!! NOT OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!! IT HAPPENS EVERY EPISODE, AND HE DOES THE EXACT SAME THING AS WHEN HE TALKS TO NOEL! HE OFFERS THEM FUCKING MOOOOOONNNNEY. Honestly, I feel like I’m the crazy one.

            This leads me to my second, but in not dissimilar, point of annoyance. The hosts of these shows are the worst they have ever been now. No, this is serious now. Stop ITV. Stop BBC. Stop Channel 4. We get your point, you have access to a load of D list celebrities that will run your game shows. Stop now. These episodes of Deal or No Deal where you get Noel Edmunds to dress up are just too far. They literally make me want to throw up on the TV. And don’t even get me started on the “craaaaazy banter” he has with the contestants. You know how they’re supposed to play heavy rock music to get soldiers geared up for battle? Well, I got a better idea. Just invent a drug that makes them think everybody is Noel Edmunds. Private Walker will be turned into Rambo over-night.

            And just one more point. If you are gunna go on one of these shows, fucking go for it. I don’t mean “deal at £12,000 because that’s a lot of money”. No, just go for it. You’ve got one shot at this, do it properly. If you say “no deal” at 20 grand, you haven’t lost 20 grand. You never had 20 grand. You can’t lose anything on these shows. So you may as well try and get as much as you can. Because honestly, how many times in your life is Phillip Schofield going to offer you £50,000 to throw a ball into a basket.