Bad
Horror Films
By
definition, a horror film has to be scary, or try to be scary. So, I’m not
counting films that have given up on the whole “horror” aspect in this.
Unfortunately, I have a friend who
loves these types of movies so I end up watching a lot of them. I could go on
forever about how bad Paranormal Activity is, or how Dark Skies makes no sense,
but why stop there? No, I’m gunna moan about the pieces of shit films that are
shown at half past 3 on a week day morning on zone horror. Now that’s where the
real talent is.
Zone Horror, is an unfortunate
accident in the Sky Channel planner. I don’t know what channel it is, and I wouldn’t
tell you if I did. No human being deserves that torture. They show the biggest
piles of shit I have ever seen. From “The Forest of the Damned” to “Jack Frost
2”, it has no boundaries, (if you know any of those films you know exactly what
I am talking about). It’s like they hate film. Like the entire culture of film
has offended them in some way and they have dedicated their lives to destroying
all that is beautiful in the world.
I mean what the fuck is that? WHAT THE
FUCK IS THAT?!@# WHO WANTS TO WATCH THAT SHIT? SERIOUSLY? What is wrong with
these low life drop out mother fucking retard directors (if they can be given
that title) that makes them think it’s a great idea to employ the worst actors
in the history or the art, and the worst writers to ever disgrace the work of
Shakespeare, and put and make a film. They aren’t directors. They must be bin
men or something. Bin men that got up one day and thought: “Nothing can stop
you Steve, go make a film!”
Honestly, in the case of Jack Frost 2,
it was like an hour and a half film, and half way through they abandoned any
horror theme they may have once been clinging to, and just turned it into a
comedy. And do you know what: it was actually quite funny.
Despite that one minor victory, I am
using this as a plea. Please, bad horror film directors, stop doing this to us.
You’ve let us down, you’ve let your family down, but most of all you’ve let
yourself down. Your children will laugh at you.
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