The Crowd

The Crowd

I’ve got a feeling this will be a pretty popular one. We all hate the crowd. If you don’t know what the crowd is, then you’re in the crowd and will you please get the fuck off this page. The crowd is everything wrong with society today. It’s ruining youth and tarring all adolescence with the same brush. And before I get any shit for it, the crowd is not the same as a trend. You can dress how you like. You can wear the same stuff as the Paramore band if you like (and want to look like a twat). Go for it, just don’t start acting like everyone else are a set of fucktards for wearing other things.

          One Direction are the best example I can give really. We all know they don’t deserve to be as big as they are. In my opinion, anyone that doesn’t write their own songs shouldn’t earn a penny from music. But that’s the world we live in. That’s the crowd. A few little fan boys (or girls) start going mental over the new “boy band” and it spreads like wild fire. It’s disgusting. One Direction, at the moment, are worth around about £26 million. What the fuck planet Earth? Where the fuck was I when that happened? How the hell have we let them accumulate wealth like that? Honestly, that’s not rhetorical, I want an answer. It’s like I fell asleep and Harry Styles robbed a few banks or something. Not with a gun, he just threatened to fuck their hair up as much as he has done his own. “Gimme the moolah! Unless you want to look like Edward Scissor hands when he puts his fingers in a socket.”

          In fairness, the One Direction cultists aren’t the worst section of the crowd. It’s the sport fanatics that are the worst. They’re like the front line of the crowd. The pretentious, steroid popping, gym worshipping wankers that are deluded enough to think that playing football makes them the dogs bollocks are the worst people in the world. They stare at you, in their football gear (because they never take it off. It’s like a curse. They have to constantly wear shorts and football socks. Little known fact.) and think: “Yeh, I’m probably better than you.” You can tell by the way they look at you. They stand there, judging you, as if any of us give a shit that they go to DW sports gym twice a day. Guess what pal, you’re a bell end. Just because you’ve subscribed to a “brand of person” doesn’t mean we all want to be you. In all honesty mate, I’m fucking grateful I’m not you. Because I wouldn't have proper friends, just fellow dick heads that I kick a ball around with. Wankers.

To summarise: Fuck the crowd, most of them are idiots. And fuck Justin Bieber too. He’s a dick.