About Me

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child. - Doug Stanhope

Saturday 20 April 2013

Attention Whores


Attention Whores

We all know the girl, who cakes herself in make-up and puts shit loads of half-naked photos of herself on Facebook. We all know the girl that’ll go out and snog any guy that gives her 5 minutes of chat. We all know the girl that is so desperate to get attention and love she will literally do anything to get as much of it as possible. And we all know that if there was any justice in this world we would be able to tell that attention whore to fuck right off without feeling terrible about it. But it isn’t like that.
          You can’t turn round to the dickhead who thinks he’s “Facebook famous” (whatever the fuck that means.) and tell them to do on from existence. Because then you’re the bad guy. Who are these fucking freaks anyway that make profiles of themselves on Facebook and somehow get shit loads of people to subscribe to them? Just post a picture every other day of some cuts on their arm and be like: “Oooooooo poor old me. People pick on me because I’m different.” No, dick weed, people pick on you because you’re a bell end. I’m not shouting at anyone in particular here, let’s call them….. Make JcManus, for example. If you walk round in a fucking fur coat, make up, high heels and nose piercings, you are going to get called all sorts of things. And don’t pretend you were stupid enough to think any different. You knew for a fact that the dick heads on the street were gunna shout things at you. That’s exactly what you wanted. I’m on to you, you attention whoring shit stain.
          And who’s listening to what these people have to say? Who gives a tuppenny fuck about what these people’s views on society are? Do you not realise these guys are fucking stupid? So stupid to think they’re fucking celebrities for uploading shit 2 minute videos on a social media site.
          And the phrase “Facebook famous” doesn’t make sense. You’re either famous or you’re not. You can’t confine the definition of famous to a finite area, it voids the meaning anyway. If you can do it, Hanielle Dunt, then so can I. I’m “Home famous”. I am ridiculously famous in my home. Every time I walk in there’s a red carpet laid out for me, I have security constantly following me round, I need to hire my own personal car to take me downstairs when I have my dinner and just the other day I was sat in my room and a groupie tried to force her way through my window. She had “I love you JORDAN” tattooed on her tits. You what? That’s sounds ridiculous. Yes it does, “Facebook famous” dickhead, yes-it-does.

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